Little Detours Podcast

When you become a first-time dog owner, it helps to adopt the motto: Overprepare and go with the flow.

And yes, that might mean the flow of dog pee all over your living room floor.

How do you prepare for a puppy when you’ve never owned a dog in your life?

Like many others, we got a pandemic pet and discovered puppies are a lot of work. But I made a commitment for life, one I vow to keep no matter how much our cute puppy acts like a juvenile delinquent. The cuteness factor does wear off when he barks at 3 a.m., throws up on the shag rug or digs a hole right in the middle of the yard.

But when you look into those eyes, you’re looking into the soul of a beautiful being, one that will love you better than you ever love it.

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Naming a dog isn’t easy. You thought naming a child was hard? This is harder. With a child, only the parents get a vote. With a pet, everyone in the family wants a vote.

But who actually decides? Me? My husband? Our three grandkids? Their parents? This was going to be a family dog, so all 7 of us were in on the choosing.

There are so many things to consider when naming a dog, especially when you’ve never had a dog and you’re 64 and it’s probably the only dog you’re ever going to have in your life.

A dog’s name can’t be one that’s embarrassing to scream at the top of your lungs when it runs away, so Poopsy Pie, Sprinkles and Mister Snuggles were out. Find out what we chose and how, and steal from our list of the great names we didn’t choose.

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I’m not a dog person. So why is there a giant dog crate in the corner of my living room?

Blame the grandkids. All three of them. Grandkids have a way of cracking open your heart. And that’s what happened. My heart cracked open.

During the pandemic, the grandkids were begging for pet and settled on a gerbil. Then one day our 9-year-old granddaughter announced, “I don’t know why we’re talking gerbils when we should be talking puppies.”

That was the moment. Our hearts opened wide to a pandemic puppy.

Listen to Part 1 of our journey to create a generation of dog lovers. It’s the story of how two non-dog lovers became pet people to transform their family forever into dog people.

It all started with the decision to love one puppy for life. And oh, what a life changer it has been.

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Elton John was right. “Sorry” seems to be the hardest word. Why is it so hard to give an apology yet so powerful to receive one?

Most people don’t know how to apologize. We’re all pretty clumsy at it. We say, “If I offended you, I’m sorry.” Or, “Sorry you feel that way.” Or, say “I owe you an apology” yet never give one.

None of those are genuine apologies. An apology includes the words, “I’m sorry.” Those two words can repair and right a relationship forever. No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but we’re all wrong some of the time. And sometimes our wrongs hurt others.

If we learn from our wrongs and apologize for them, we don’t have to flog ourselves forever. It takes grace to receive an apology, to give up remaining a victim. But you can give up your hurt and move on. Once you release that person, you’re free, too.

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Albert Einstein said if he had an hour to solve a problem and his entire life depended upon the solution, he’d spend the first 55 minutes asking the right questions.

What are the right questions? The kind that help you live your deepest, best life. Questions like…

Do you believe the Universe is a friendly place? What is the kindest thing to do right now? If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? Apple founder Steve Jobs urged people to ask themselves that question, and if the answer was “No,” then change your life.

Discover the power of asking the right questions.

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What’s on your Bucket List? It’s a list of all the things you want to experience before you “kick the bucket.” Things to try before you die.

It’s the opposite of homework. It’s life play. Instead of focusing on your life’s work, you focus on your life’s play and make sure you live your big adventure here.

It can include travel or challenges, thrill-seeking adventures or learn hobbies you’ve always wanted to try. Or you could go deeper and turn your Bucket List into a Bucket Life. You could create challenges to become a better person: Learn CPR. Get certified in Wilderness First Aid. Donate blood. Teach someone to read. Become a foster parent. Forgive everyone everything.

When you turn your Bucket List into a Bucket Life, everyone benefits from what’s on your list.

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People say “get out of your comfort zone.” Sometimes you actually need to climb into it, get cozy and savor it.

You can create a Comfort Zone out of your favorite chair, a nightstand or a corner of a room. You just need a spot that is all yours that brings you a measure of peace where you can reboot and restore your life. Even Superman needed a Fortress of Solitude.

You can call it your sanctuary, your refuge, your oasis. Just find a spot to call your own then add some scented candles, pillows, soothing music or fresh flowers. Then you can meditate, read, write in your journal and nurture your soul so you can be a comfort to others when it’s time to leave your comfort zone and step back into the world.

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We could all benefit from professional help. Getting counseling might be the best thing you ever do for yourself.

If you were broken and bruised from childhood abuse or neglect, or sexually abused as a teenager or young adult, you don’t have to keep tiptoeing around the minefield of your past to avoid explosions of shame, anger and rage. You don’t have to feel desperate and hungry and lost your whole life.

If you broke your leg, you’d go to a hospital and get professional help to heal it. If you were broken by child abuse, neglect or a sexual assault, you need a professional trained to help heal that broken part. You are worth getting help.

There is joy on the other side of all that pain. Find it.

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You are beautiful. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and believed it?

Too often we are our own worst enemies. Some of the meanest things said about us are said by us.

Too many of us look in the mirror and see only flaws: Split ends. Pimples. Wrinkles. Age spots. No matter how beautiful our eyes, our smile, our skin, we zoom in on the one thing that makes us feel flawed.

We need to honor our bodies, no matter what size or shape or age we are, and believe this truth about ourselves: we are beautiful, as is, right now.

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Kindness is contagious. Why not spread it?

Opportunities for kindness are everywhere. At work, home, school, Facebook, Twitter, the breakfast nook, the dinner table. With one daily act of kindness, you could change the world. You could…Listen more than you talk. Hug your kids. Kiss your spouse. Clean up after your dog. Unjam the copier. Over-tip. Thank a teacher.

Imagine if we all said, did, posted, shared, clicked and liked only content that was kind. We could start a revolution.

Let’s do it!

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True surrender is to love it all. Everything.

The mosquito. The ex-husband. The barking dog. The traffic. The weather. Even growing old. Especially growing old.

Plan a birthday extravaganza to celebrate every age you are. Release all your hostages. Be free of all you have built to protect you from the world. The secret isn’t to build a wider moat or to be a fiercer dragon or to build thicker walls or tougher skin. The secret is to believe at the deepest core of your being that your soul is unhurtable.

Because it is.

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A first class life requires first first class relationships. Is it time for an upgrade?

Your life can and should be full of vibrant, conscious people who love and support you and are a joy to be around.

Surround yourself with positive people in your life. Create a personal Dream Team to give you support and clarity when you need it. Form a counsel of Elders who can offer you their greatest wisdom free of charge.

Learn to tame the takers. Bless them, release them and change you.

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Are you living the life your soul wants you to have?

That’s the only kind of life to live. Rumi wrote, “The soul is here for its own joy.” Are you feeling the joy?

Most of us waste a lot of energy and squander our joy minding other people’s business and neglecting our own. How do you mind your own soul? Meditate daily. Pause through the day to center. Release drama addicts from your life. Remind yourself often, Not my circus, not my monkeys.

You are here to live the life your soul wants you to have. What is stopping you?

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You might be too old to crawl into a lap to hear a good story, but you’re never too old to read yourself a great children’s book.

Artist and illustrator Karen Sandstrom talks about her favorite children’s books. The former book editor for the Cleveland Plain Dealer owns hundreds of children’s books. She recently created Picture Book Sundays on her Facebook page to spotlight her favorites.

You know the kind, where you know every line by heart because the books leave an imprint on your heart, one that lasts forever.

Karen shares her lists of favorites and so does Regina. Classics, like Goodnight Moon, The Velveteen Rabbit and The Tale of Peter Rabbit, and newer books that will become classics, like Hair Love, Ocean Meets Sky and Knuffle Bunny.

Karen, whose day job is in communications at The Cleveland Clinic, also shares her own illustrations at #tinymorningsketch.

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The bombing in Bali turned Sophie Sureau into her own superhero. Burned and buried under rubble, she regained consciousness when she felt people walking on her back to escape the carnage. Her choice was to burn to death or get up. She turned herself into the Incredible Hulk to survive, fleeing the scene with skin hanging from her body.

The attack on Oct. 12, 2002, killed 202 and wounded 300. Sophie spent 35 days in the hospital, underwent skin grafts, over a dozen surgeries plus two years of various therapies to recover and regain full use of her body.

She talks about how to choose to live as a warrior and a survivor, not a victim.

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We’ve all experienced someone say, “Shame on you!” Well, shame OFF you. Shame off everybody.

That shame isn’t yours, so don’t carry it for the parents or nuns or teachers or siblings or strangers who dumped it on you.

No more shame over your scars or weight or your body. No more shame over what others did to you. No more shame over the choices you made. They were the best you could make with what you knew at the time.

You are already worthy of every good thing life has to offer. You don’t have to earn it.

You were born worthy.

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Cleveland Criminal Defense lawyer Ian N. Friedman got a new grip on life after he lost his arm in a motorcycle accident.

That moment he hit the guardrail and flew 100 feet has been with him every day since June 17, 2011. The metal tore through his neck and severed the nerves to his arm. He calls it the best thing that happened to him.

Having the use of just one arm has slowed down and deepened his life. It takes a lot longer to shave, button a shirt and tie a shoe. He’s grateful for the fresh canvas he got for the second half of his life and talks about what to write on it if you get one.

Ian is founding partner of Friedman and Nemecek, L.L.C. and an adjunct professor of law at the Cleveland-Marshall College of Law at Cleveland State University.

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If you’ve ever felt too bruised to love, you’re not alone. Some of us were born bruised. But the truth is we are whole. The truth is, we were born whole and worthy of love.

We often look for the love our life everywhere but in the mirror. Once you can look in the mirror, say to yourself, “I love you,” and truly believe it, you are more able to love others and heal the world.

Make a vow starting today. Write it on your heart. Post it on your mirror: “I will love you all the days of my life” starting today.

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“No” is such a tiny word, but it’s the gateway to saying “yes!” to you and your life.

Why is it so hard to say “No” to others?

We fear letting people down or causing them to feel the rejection we might feel if someone said no to us, so we let ourselves down by saying yes to things we don’t want to do.

Give yourself permission to say no. Practice saying “No” in the mirror or screaming it into a pillow if you have to. The word “no” your guardian and a gift you give yourself.

Because when you say “yes” you are giving away not just your time, but your life, because your time IS your life.

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Hal Becker was diagnosed with terminal cancer when he was 28. Instead of killing him, it made him eternally grateful — for the next 38 years.

Hal made a vow to have fun back in 1982, and he has kept it every day since.

He’s an expert on sales, customer service and negotiation and has written numerous books, including, “Can I have 5 Minutes of Your Time?”

He conducts seminars and consults to companies like IBM, Disney, New York Life and Verizon. He constantly reminds everyone: attitude is everything, so make yours one of gratitude.

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