8 Tips for graduates and the rest of us

Commencement season is about to commence.

May is upon us, the season of graduations.

If you or someone you love is graduating from college, high school or trade school, advice will soon hit like a tsunami. I’m simply getting ahead of the flow, and offering what has worked for me.

Love what you do. Love who you do it for.

I wrote that on a sticky note taped to my computer. Love what you do. Even if it isn’t what you like at first. Love it anyway. Love will lead you to something you love more.

Writer Michael Singer gave me a mission statement that serves as a compass every moment of every day: “The highest life anyone could ever live is that every single moment is better off because it passed before you.” You, yes, you. That’s how powerful you really are.

Life is about learning, but it’s also about unlearning.

Rumi offered this gem: “Recognize that unlearning is the highest form of learning.” You might think you know so much about the situation in Gaza and Israel and world politics and your chosen field of study that your opinions are sealed in tight. If you open your mind, your brain won’t fall out, but your heart might expand.

You can unlearn hate for others. You can unlearn narrow mindedness. You can unlearn fear.

Every ‘no’ is simply a detour to your perfect YES!

If you bump into a wall, pause and ask what that wall is telling you. Climb over it? Walk around it? Wait? Change course? Maybe you need to zig where you planned to zag and create your own path.

My first major was biology. Then I flunked chemistry, so I switched to botany. Then I got a “D” in zoology, so I switched to conservation. Then, I got pregnant at 21 and dropped out of school. When I returned six years later, I changed my major two more times, then finally ended up graduating with a journalism degree from Kent State University in 1986, and have been paying the rent by writing ever since.

Life isn’t about competition, it’s about completion.

Every time I walk in a bookstore, I wonder why I bother to write. There are so many better writers. I have to remind myself that it’s all been done before, but it hasn’t been done by you.

You are here to complete your life. No one else on the planet has your specific mission. You have your own spiritual assignment that no one else has. Find it and follow it. You will know it by an inner joy that no one can take from you.

Irish-Indian Poet Nikita Gill wrote, “Be your own definition of amazing.” Doesn’t that sound much more fun than being a second-rate someone else?

Life flows forward. Follow the flow.

I keep a greeting card with this quote by Marcia Wallace on my desk that reads, “Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.” If your life is lived in the rearview mirror of regrets, you’ll get nowhere.

Be water, my friend. I keep that Bruce Lee quote on another sticky note. Everything you want is downstream. You never need to force the river. Jump in and flow forward. You’ll move along much faster in life going with the flow.

Bring fear along for the ride.

Do what scares you. “Use your fear; it can take you to the place you store your courage,” Amelia Earhart said.

I’ve been afraid almost every time I sit down to write, and I’ve been writing for 38 years. The fear doesn’t leave. I just invite it to come along for the ride. What if I’m not good enough? So what. The goal is completion not perfection. What if I get in trouble? Just make sure it’s good trouble, as John Lewis taught.

Have a great life. Or not. It’s up to you.

There’s a Facebook photo going around with a giant mirror with these words posted above: Meet the person responsible for your happiness, reputation, accomplishments, attitude, choices.

My grandson’s principal offers his students this clarity every morning with the daily announcements: “Have a great day. Or not. It’s up to you.”

Be kind.

A friend of mine signs every email with this quote by J. M. Barry: “Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” Kindness costs nothing. It means everything.

The world has a zillion successful people. What it needs is more kindness.

Congratulations, graduate. That’s where you come in.