How to honor the victims of the Oct. 7 attack by Hamas

A year has passed.

This is the first anniversary of the Oct. 7, 2023, massacre by Hamas terrorists.

In that brutal surprise attack, Hamas terrorists murdered 1,200 innocent people and kidnapped more than 250. Over 100 people remain hostages. It was the deadliest terrorist incident in Israel’s history, targeting innocent civilians, including women, children, babies and the elderly.

This first anniversary falls between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the holiest days. How will you mark it?

You don’t need to relive the horror. I remember watching the Twin Towers fall over and over again after the Sept. 11 attacks. I kept watching those planes hit the buildings and seeing the shocked people covered in dust run for their lives.

Then my daughter shared something profound. A woman she knew watched it only once, and never again. She didn’t want to take in the trauma and make it endless. I was stunned. I never realized that was an option.

It doesn’t mean you don’t care about the victims. Caring doesn’t mean reliving the horror to create a PTSD trigger for the rest of your life. The dead are not honored by you reliving their trauma.

Instead, honor the victims of Oct. 7 with …

A day of music.

The victims were celebrating a seven-day music festival. They were united by a love of music. On this anniversary, fill your head and heart and soul with music. Pick up a guitar. Bang a drum. Sing. Print out a list of the names of all 1,200 killed and all those who remain hostage and perform for them, sing to them.

A day of prayer.

Pray for the families of those killed. Pray for the hostages who remain. Pray for the hostages who were released. Pray for all those hurt by the ensuing violence in and around Israel. Pray for a lasting peace for all.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 covers it all: “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot that which is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance … A time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.”

A day of peace.

Turn off the television. Don’t watch Hamas celebrate the day and the deaths. Light a yahrzeit candle or a circle of 18 tealights to represent life. Light them at 6:30 a.m., the time of the attack in Israel.

A day of quiet.

Take yourself to a park or pond. Spend 1,200 seconds in quiet. In that 20 minutes, take a breath for each of those who no longer breathe. Do a walking meditation of 1,200 steps for each of those who no longer walk the Earth. Do it all in silence since there are no words to cover this loss.

A day of connection.

Support the Jewish community and all who stand up against antisemitism. Donate $12, $120 or $1,200. Go to a synagogue service. Attend a commemoration. Watch streaming services. Spend time with the people you love most in this world and be grateful today for every minute you share with them.

A day of solidarity.

Stand with the Jewish community. Support Jewish friends and co-workers. Don’t read, watch or listen to anything that denies, minimizes or justifies the brutal attack of Oct. 7. It has been a difficult year for Israelis and Jews all over the world, and Palestinians and Arabs in neighboring lands. But today is the day to acknowledge the victims of Oct. 7, not every day since.

A day of creation.

So much was destroyed that day. So many were destroyed, along with their hopes and dreams and future.

Paint a canvas with a group or alone. Use 1,200 brushstrokes. Paint the word PEACE on flat rocks and scatter them all over the community. Draw your feelings. Create a prayer journal and write in their names. Write what gives you comfort and hope.

A day of hope.

Musician Nick Cave wrote that “hope is optimism with a broken heart.” So many hearts were shattered on Oct. 7. We can still hope, and we must.

Even with a broken heart.