5 Lessons Cancer Taught Me

After cancer, I don’t have to do anything, I get to. It’s all a get to.

Bald with Gabe.jpg

Cancer was one of my greatest teachers. Still is.

Today is my 22 year cancerversarry. Yes, I celebrate. Bring on the ice cream and cue the grandkids!

The truth is, I celebrate it every day. After getting diagnosed with breast cancer 22 years ago at age 41, every day is a gift. There are no bad days. Every day I’m on the right side of the grass — that’s a good day.

Cancer showed me how tough I really was. My friend Ro Eugene used to say, “It’s hard, but you can do hard.” She was right.

I hit it hard with surgeries, chemotherapy, six weeks of daily radiation and a double mastectomy. I’m grateful for the researchers and clinical trial volunteers for my chemo formula: Cyatoxin, Adriamycin and 5-FU. I think every chemo drug should have FU in its name.

A giant thank you to those who saved my life, surgeon Leonard Bryzozowski and oncologist Jim Sabiers; my chemo nurse Pam Boone and my daughter and husband who reminded me every step of the way, “You got this” even when they were scared to see me bald and weighing 105 pounds.

Cancer taught me five lessons that transformed my life:

  1. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

    Everything is do-able if you break it into parts. If you can’t handle a day of it, you handle an hour of it or 15 minutes of it, and then another 15, and then another.

  2. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.

    Some days all I could do was move from one couch to the chair before I landed in the bathroom sick to my stomach. Move a muscle, change a thought. Some days that’s all the action you can take, but it’s still action.

  3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive everyone everything.

    I lost most of my siblings when I went through counseling and spoke up about the abuse in our childhood home. Cancer brought them back into my life. It opened a door that has never closed. I’m so grateful for the love of every one of my siblings, my original BFFs.

  4. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save anything for a special occasion. Today is special enough.

    It sure is, just as it is. So if you invite me over, don’t be shocked if I use the special rose scented soap, dry my hands on the fancy embroidered towels and insist you light that lovely apple cinnamon candle that’s collecting dust.

  5. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

    I got to live another 22 years, but so many people I loved, and many more that you loved, didn’t get to survive as long as we wanted. We’ve all lost people we loved to cancer.

    I lost my friends Monica, Bill, Jim, David, Erica, Sally, Ro Eugene and many more to cancer. I lost my cousins Nancy and Kevin. I outlived my aunts Maureen, Ronnie and Francie who died of cancer at 42, 44 and 58. They never got to reach my age.

    I “get to” be 63. That’s why I don’t waste a day complaining about my wrinkles or all those age spots on my hands.

    Those aren’t age spots. They’re constellations, life’s way of reminding me that we’re all stardust.

    So shine, shine, shine, while you still have the chance.